1996 holiday letter

SEASON'S GREETINGS

Congratulations! You've received this letter, which means that either Jolene or Tony has identified you as a friend, relative (condolences may be more appropriate here) or someone we cannot afford to offend. This is our second go-round with this and we hope we have learned from our mistakes last year and do not confuse you with who's written what. To that end, and to prevent the controversies over the best movies and books that marred last year's letter writing sessions, we are separating our greeting into two sections.

Jolene:

As you know we're getting married on May 24th. We hope to see many of you here in Milwaukee for our celebration. Hopefully the plows will have cleared some paths through the snow and slush, so it won't be too difficult to get around. I may need some help as the date draws near as Tony is getting a little nervous about being the center of attention. But I'm sure that if you can help me get him out on the dance floor he'll be just fine.

You may be surprised to learn that an M.A. in Museum Studies can get you a job as a legal secretary, which is what I am currently doing at Blue Cross. Tony keeps joking that I should get my MBA and start moving up in the corporate world. Hopefully, I will eventually turn my volunteer work at the Milwaukee Public Museum into a paid position. At least volunteering with the Museum's Community Outreach Program allows me to remain somewhat current as to what's happening in the field.

We've settled into life in Milwaukee, which means we eat fish fries every Friday night, always have beer in the refrigerator, carry windshield scrapers in the car year-round, have a collection of Green Bay Packer cheese heads, and have come to appreciate the smell of fermenting hops wafting through the air.

Tony and I made several trips to Chicago this year to visit friends and check out a few exhibitions. We also visited friends out east in late May. One of the highlights of the year was a trip to Monroe, Wisconsin to visit my sister, during the semi-annual Cheese Days festival. I heard several accordion bands, watched cow milking contests and ate cheese in a bar. Lest you think we're all hicks, we also saw Moliere's Misanthrope at the American Players Theater in Spring Green, Wisconsin. Not quite the Met, but we take what we can get out here in the Midwest. We also did a bit of camping this summer. Tony loves camping with my noisy nieces and nephews and sleeping on the ground!

Tony:

Quite frankly, I believe I would rather have nails pounded up my nose (which, by the way, is something we happened to witness at a Coney Island freak show a few years ago; very strange place that Coney Island) than spend a summer "with the sky as my roof," as Jolene might say. I can do it for a few days, but after that my hand starts to twitch without a remote control in it.

In any case, I am struggling to remember details about 1996. Living in Milwaukee does that to you. Believe me, I know. I spent 17 years of my life here and the only thing I can remember about that is getting picked off third base in the last inning of the championship game of our baseball league when I was 14. I guess it is good that I can't remember too much about 1996; that means nothing really bad happened.

I've become much more active back here in Milwaukee, except when I am home and Jolene wants me to get out of my chair (the recliner has to be one of the three greatest inventions of all time). I played tennis all summer and football during the cold weather (i.e., the other 11 months). It has been fun, except for getting a major poke in the eye, a mild concussion, and hyperextending my elbow. I am too old and much too fat to be doing this much longer, or at least that's what my mom tells me.

Cultor (the company I work for) is closing the site here in Milwaukee and I will be out of a job in April. Law school, computer consulting, professional gambling and sloth are all possibilities. I guess you know which way I am leaning.

In any case, I hope you all will be able to make the wedding. Do me one favor, though, and look at your feet or something during the ceremony. All of your faces staring at me might cause my head to explode or something. Oh, and if someone wants to volunteer to take my place for the chicken dance and the hokey pokey, please feel free. A 33 year old man chicken dancing is illegal in the state of Wisconsin.

You're probably asleep already, but anyway, happy holidays and all the best for 1997 from both of us. We hope it is a rewarding and joyous time for all of you.